BYC skit: Austin Powers style
by shiroiryu144
Summary: My group's typed skit script. We based our skit on Austin Powers. Enjoy the Mayhem.


This is a play that was written in Buddhist camp by my group, the Ev-o Squid Klan.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Austin Powers. (Thank goddess)  
  
[scene 1 opens to Dr. Ev-o's office. Dr. Ev-o is sitting in his desk with Frau standing nearby.]  
Dr. Ev-o: Argh. I need a suitable weapon to take over the world…[pats Mr.   
Bigglesworth]  
Mr. Bigglesworth: PURR  
Dr. Ev-o: Hm... Laserbeams?…already tried that…tractor beam?… I already did that   
too…  
Mr. Bigglesworth: PURR  
Dr. Ev-o: OH! I'll meditate(1) to find the answer! It always helps to solve my inner   
conflict. [meditates]  
["meditating" sign](2)  
["later" sign]  
Dr. Ev-o: AH! I've got it! [lightbulb appears above Dr. Ev-o's head]  
Mr. Bigglesworth: PURR  
Dr. Ev-o: I'll make some gelatin! It will engulf the world! [stands up in typical crazy   
dictator pose]   
KWAHAHAHA!!! [settles back down]  
["a few hours later" sign]  
  
[scene 2 opens to Dr. Ev-o's office. Random Task, Frau, Dr. Ev-o, and two henchman are present]  
Dr. Ev-o: All I need to do now is test out my new secret weapon, Destruction Jelly(3)!   
Now where's my guinea pig? Henchman #1 go get him.  
[Henchman #1 goes and drags in Disco Dancer(DD)]  
DD: I'm Fred Fizzle. I drive a magic school bus in the day and disco dance at night!(4)   
[strikes a pose]  
Dr. Ev-o: Put him in the D.J. jar!   
Frau: Put him in the jar!  
Dr. Ev-o: #1, pull the switch!  
[#1 and #2 drag DD into the jar and close the lid. #1 flips the switch.]  
[DD dances increasingly slower until he fails to even twitch]  
Dr. Ev-o: Ah! It worked perfectly! Hm…I need to get rid of pesky Austin Powers before   
I take over the world. Random task![calls stage right]  
Frau: Random task!   
[Random Task(RT) enters stage right]  
Dr. Ev-o: Random Task, go steal Austin Powers' mojo.  
[RT exits]  
  
[scene 3 opens to a park with Austin sitting on a bench]  
[Frau enters, lets her hair down, and flips her name plate. Frau is now Chau.]  
[Chau sits down next to Austin]  
Austin: Ah… What a beautiful day! In the park with my newest foxiest girlfriend, Chau   
Vu. [drapes his arm over her shoulder]  
Chau: Oh, Austin…[leans on Austin]  
[RT enters]  
RT: I'm here to take your mojo, Austin Powers. [pulls out a huge straw and sends a black   
ball flying towards Austin]  
Austin: [gets hit by the black ball] Seriously, WHO spits boba?! [falls down]  
RT: Boba! [strikes a victory pose]  
[Chau faints.]  
RT: Now I shall take your mojo. [walks over to Austin, takes out a giant needle, and   
takes Austin's mojo]  
[RT exits]  
[Chau exits]  
["A few hours later" sign]  
[Chau enters]  
Austin:[waking up] Oh no! my mojo's gone!  
Chau: Oh that's alright…  
Austin: How can I get it back?!?! [frantic]  
Chau: Just go meditate on a way to get it back…  
Austin: Oh right… meditation… [meditates]  
["meditating" sign]  
Austin: Alright! I got my mojo back! Let's go get Dr. Ev-o. He must be planning to take   
over the world again!  
  
[scene 4 opens to Dr. Ev-o's office. RT, Frau, and Dr. Ev-o are present]  
Dr. Ev-o:…and that's how I plan to take over the world…  
Frau: Brilliant plan, Dr. Ev-o. We managed to successfully clone you but instead of just   
one person we ended up with Siamese triplets...  
Dr. Ev-o: That means that they're three eighths my size now.  
[Clones come in. They are all attached to each other.]  
Dr. Ev-o: I shall call this one Ken, this one Andrew, and this one Benjamin. [points to   
each head as he names them off]  
["Ken-Andrew-Benjamin" name plate]  
Dr. Ev-o: Together I shall call my Mini-three(M3) , Kendrewjamin!  
[Clones turn around and show off their new nameplate "Kendrewjamin"]  
[Fat B(FB) enters]  
FB: Who ate my Subway™ Sandwich?  
M3: We did, Fatty!  
FB: Get in my belly! [glares at M3 and charges]  
[M3 surround and beat FB up]  
FB: NO!!! Not there!! OW!!  
[#1 drags the battered body of FB offstage]  
[Austin and Chau enter]  
Austin: I'm here to stop you, Dr. Ev-o!  
[RT steps up and spits boba at Austin]  
[Austin is hit and he falls down]  
RT: Boba! [does a victory sign]  
Dr. Ev-o: Put him in the tank with the freaking squids with freaking laser beams!  
  
[scene 5 opens to Austin in a big tank full of water.]  
Austin: Where…?  
[two squids labeled as the "freaking squids with freaking laser beams" enter the tank]  
[Squids are waving their tentacles and firing their laser beams at Austin]  
Austin: AHH!!! [runs to the opposite side of the tank]  
[Squids advance]  
Austin: Ah! I know! I've got my handy dandy fish with me! [pulls out a fish from his   
pocket]  
[Fish swims to the opposite side of the tank]  
[The squids go after the fish]  
  
[scene 6 opens to Dr. Ev-o's office. Dr. Evo, M3, and RT are present.]  
[Austin enters with Chau]  
Austin: I challenge you, Dr. Ev-o!  
Dr. Ev-o: There's only one way to settle this. A game of Billy Bob Bob Bob!   
[They stand M3 on the left, Dr. Evo in the middle and RT on the right]  
[Austin in the middle, Chau on his left]  
Austin: Wait! We need one more person on our side!  
["Staying alive" begins to play]  
[DD enters]  
DD: [singing along] I'm just staying alive, staying alive! [stands on Austin's right]  
Dr. Ev-o: Screaming Viking!  
[Austins screams, Chau and DD paddle]  
Austin: Billy Bob Bob…  
Dr. Ev-o: Bob!  
Austin: …bob… Aw shoot.  
Dr. Ev-o: Kamikaze!  
[Austin forms the eyeglasses with his hands and makes a crashing airplane noise. Chau   
and DD form the wings]  
[The game goes on and on…]  
Austin: Jiggling Jellybean!  
[Dr. Ev-o starts rolling on the floor, RT makes an airplane wing, and M3 does a Hawaiian   
dance]  
Austin: HA! That isn't Jiggling Jellybean! You lose, Dr. Ev-o!   
[Dr. Ev-o wails in despair]   
[Curtain closes]  
THE END  
  
~~~~Notes~~~~  
(1) Our group's theme was Meditation. We had to stick it in SOMEWHERE.  
(2) This means that a random stagecrew member went onstage and held up the   
sign.  
(3) The weapon's name was modified, since the original name was a bit vulgar.  
(4) For those of you wondering why that random line showed up, DD's line was   
copied from some other group's skit. 


End file.
